I have always enjoyed reading advice columnists, a pleasure which has increased with the advent of the net and the ability of others to post comments on both their opinion of the advice as well as responses to the LW (letter writer in advice column parlance!).
My brilliant friend, Ellen Kushner, shared this link, which links to this link, which offers the following paradigm that presents and explains the two different, and occasionally contentious cultures of the Asker (Requester) Vs the Guesser (Diviner). It's a facinating--and I found very helpful--insight into how differently people react to the same stimulus. Here's an exerpt from one of the links that lays out the paradigm in a response to a query:
"This is a classic case of Ask Culture meets Guess Culture.
"In some families, you grow up with the expectation that it's OK to ask for anything at all, but you gotta realize you might get no for an answer. This is Ask Culture.
In Guess Culture, you avoid putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. Guess Culture depends on a tight net of shared expectations. A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won't even have to make the request directly; you'll get an offer. Even then, the offer may be genuine or pro forma; it takes yet more skill and delicacy to discern whether you should accept.
"All kinds of problems spring up around the edges. If you're a Guess Culture person -- and you obviously are -- then unwelcome requests from Ask Culture people seem presumptuous and out of line, and you're likely to feel angry, uncomfortable, and manipulated.
"If you're an Ask Culture person, Guess Culture behavior can seem incomprehensible, inconsistent, and rife with passive aggression.
"Obviously she's an Ask and you're a Guess. (I'm a Guess too. Let me tell you, it's great for, say, reading nuanced and subtle novels; not so great for, say, dating and getting raises.)
"Thing is, Guess behaviors only work among a subset of other Guess people -- ones who share a fairly specific set of expectations and signalling techniques. The farther you get from your own family and friends and subculture, the more you'll have to embrace Ask behavior. Otherwise you'll spend your life in a cloud of mild outrage at the Cluelessness of Everyone.
"As you read through the responses to this question, you can easily see who the Guess and the Ask commenters are. It's an interesting exercise."
posted by tangerine at 11:38 PM on January 16, 2007 [859 favorites]
You will indeed be able to determine which are Ask and which Guess as you read the comments. Though I hate to call them "guessers" as this type works hard to read the signals so they aren't guessing. What seems particularly poignant is that even after the two positions are explained, some of the responders are still on their moral high horse of outrage, excoriating the hapless requester as being poorly brought up and horrifyingly rude.
This is what diversity training is all about! We tend to work from our own experience and make assumptions about behavior based, naturally, on ourselves. And I must say it makes me nervous when people are vilified for behaving differently. For, as Hamlet notes to his friend, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." (Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5)
So if you are a Diviner/Guesser, try to avoid feeling pressured by a request. Channel your inner Asker and realize you can Just Say No. Really. They will likely not hate you forever. They were just asking! And by the same token as a Diviner, work on asking more, hating people forever less, and finding a reasonable common ground.
If you're an Asker/Requester, try to avoid putting pressure on with a request if you don't know the person well--or even if you do. Try to offer a face-saving out or reassurances. There are mine fields, and whether you choose to be aware of them or not, you may lose limbs and/or friendships!
I hope you found this as insightful as I did. I confess to being a diviner, but have close family members who are askers. I work on responding in kind and trying to channel their straightforwardness when I need it!
So...are you a requester or diviner?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Travel Tip
Frequent air travelers may already have figured this one out, but this has proved helpful to me. I hope it will be helpful to you.
Advice on what to do when you are at the airport and discover your flight has been delayed:
It has been my experience that airlines representatives will avoid direct lying, but may not always tell the truth (exactly) and often not the whole truth (especially not in announcements). So the challenge is to figure out what are the right questions to ask. Questions that will compel them to deliver real information (Vs whatever they need to do to keep everyone calm).
So if there's a delay, start with the question:
- Is the equipment in? (that is, is the plane assigned to fly you out actually here). This is especially important when there are weather issues.
If it is not, where is it coming from? Has it taken off? If not, why not, are planes taking off from that airport? How long does it take to get here from there? Have there been delays landing at your airport.
If it is in, why is there a delay?
- Is it mechanical (what is wrong, what is happening, any time estimate? is there an alternative plane available if it doesn't get fixed? Is there an alternative flight available if it doesn't get fixed?)
If it is not mechanical, what is it? Are all the crew here? If not, where are they coming from? When will they likely arrive? This usually doesn't come into play unless a plan is delayed a long time & at a late hour, but crews can "expire" or time out. They are legally mandated not to work for more than a certain number of hours. Once thunderstorms kept all planes grounded for hours until quite late at night. Planes had to wait for a certain amount of time after any lightning event and there came a point that a couple of members of the crew would simply time out. There were no replacements available at that point, so the flight would be cancelled & we'd all have to go home & come back the next day. We squeaked in, but it's worth asking about the crew if you've had a long delay & need to get a clearer picture of the variables to make plans.
My eye opening experience was once when I was flying out of Toronto, and the plane was delayed.
- Airline: board indicates flight is 1/2 hour delayed. It's winter and there is "weather."
- Me to airline representative behind gate: why is it delayed? Is the equipment in?
- Airline: Equipment coming in was delayed, but is due in shortly & we'll turn it around quickly.
- Me: Where is it coming from?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check..... Chicago.
- Me: Thanks--but isn't the weather coming from Chicago? Has it taken off yet?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check..... No it is still on the runway.
- Me: Oh. Thanks. Are any flights taking off from Chicago right now?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check....yes, they have just started flying out of Chicago.
- Me: Do you know where it is in line for take off?
- Airline: I don't know, but it's on the runway, not at the gate, so it's in line (a bit long-suffering at this point).
- Me: Great! Once it takes off, how long a flight is it from Chicago?
- Airline: A little over an hour.
- Me: And then it's about 1/2 hour to turn the plane around, right?
- Airline: Yes (a bit terse).
- Me: So with waiting for take off, travel time and turnaround time, it doesn't look like the 1/2 hour late on the board is likely to happen, more like 2 hours if we're lucky, right?
- Airline: (surly) Yes.
- Me: Thanks. Guess I'll go get something to eat....
And remember, don't kill the messenger. They are a key player in helping you, so alienating them by venting is not only not fair, it is not in your best interest.
So the moral of this story (and so many others) is:
What questions should you be asking?
Advice on what to do when you are at the airport and discover your flight has been delayed:
It has been my experience that airlines representatives will avoid direct lying, but may not always tell the truth (exactly) and often not the whole truth (especially not in announcements). So the challenge is to figure out what are the right questions to ask. Questions that will compel them to deliver real information (Vs whatever they need to do to keep everyone calm).
So if there's a delay, start with the question:
- Is the equipment in? (that is, is the plane assigned to fly you out actually here). This is especially important when there are weather issues.
If it is not, where is it coming from? Has it taken off? If not, why not, are planes taking off from that airport? How long does it take to get here from there? Have there been delays landing at your airport.
If it is in, why is there a delay?
- Is it mechanical (what is wrong, what is happening, any time estimate? is there an alternative plane available if it doesn't get fixed? Is there an alternative flight available if it doesn't get fixed?)
If it is not mechanical, what is it? Are all the crew here? If not, where are they coming from? When will they likely arrive? This usually doesn't come into play unless a plan is delayed a long time & at a late hour, but crews can "expire" or time out. They are legally mandated not to work for more than a certain number of hours. Once thunderstorms kept all planes grounded for hours until quite late at night. Planes had to wait for a certain amount of time after any lightning event and there came a point that a couple of members of the crew would simply time out. There were no replacements available at that point, so the flight would be cancelled & we'd all have to go home & come back the next day. We squeaked in, but it's worth asking about the crew if you've had a long delay & need to get a clearer picture of the variables to make plans.
My eye opening experience was once when I was flying out of Toronto, and the plane was delayed.
- Airline: board indicates flight is 1/2 hour delayed. It's winter and there is "weather."
- Me to airline representative behind gate: why is it delayed? Is the equipment in?
- Airline: Equipment coming in was delayed, but is due in shortly & we'll turn it around quickly.
- Me: Where is it coming from?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check..... Chicago.
- Me: Thanks--but isn't the weather coming from Chicago? Has it taken off yet?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check..... No it is still on the runway.
- Me: Oh. Thanks. Are any flights taking off from Chicago right now?
- Airline: (pause) I'll have to check....yes, they have just started flying out of Chicago.
- Me: Do you know where it is in line for take off?
- Airline: I don't know, but it's on the runway, not at the gate, so it's in line (a bit long-suffering at this point).
- Me: Great! Once it takes off, how long a flight is it from Chicago?
- Airline: A little over an hour.
- Me: And then it's about 1/2 hour to turn the plane around, right?
- Airline: Yes (a bit terse).
- Me: So with waiting for take off, travel time and turnaround time, it doesn't look like the 1/2 hour late on the board is likely to happen, more like 2 hours if we're lucky, right?
- Airline: (surly) Yes.
- Me: Thanks. Guess I'll go get something to eat....
And remember, don't kill the messenger. They are a key player in helping you, so alienating them by venting is not only not fair, it is not in your best interest.
So the moral of this story (and so many others) is:
What questions should you be asking?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A Twist of Lemon
Have you ever had a cocktail? I remember when I was younger being curious about the mystery of mixing drinks, and watching and learning from my father. Cocktails were these magic elixirs, complex, mysterious, alluring. Cooking held little interest for me, but making the right twist of lemon was an art I delighted in learning.
My father enjoyed a martini and took pleasure in the details. The right glass, the balance of tastes, the brand, crushing the ice in his hand with a spoon to get the right size slivers, the perfect chill, the right additions. Everything had impact. Everything mattered. And when I would taste the drink, I had to acknowledge that indeed, it did.
As I recall, we were a lemon twist family. I don't think I learned of olives or onions until some much later date, though limes and even an occasional mint sprig would find its way into a seasonal libation.
But the lemon twist was what made the average drink exceptional.
It started with finding a firm, fresh lemon, with unblemished substantial skin. Not for us those thin-skinned lime-look-alikes. A small, sharp knife was needed and a lengthwise strip would be cut from stem to stern. A bit of white was acceptable, but you were looking to get a nice 1/4 inch (finger wide) ribbon of the yellow top coat, covered with tiny pores.
You'd take that ribbon and squeeze it over the surface of your completed cocktail, white inside toward you, the outer skin facing the drink like—my father would gleefully explain—you were squeezing blackheads. And oil did indeed emerge from the peel squeezing, creating a film of lemon essence, an oil slick on the surface of the drink.
You would then gently sweep the perimeter of the glass with the outside of the peel and drop it into the drink (twisting the peel would deliver similar oil-inducing pressure, but is less thorough, in my opinion). As my father noted, one didn't really taste much after the first sip of a drink. The chill, the alcohol, would often take over, so the fact the oil essence didn't last much beyond that initial sip didn't matter. What mattered was that first sip was exquisite, sparkling, aromatic, heady.
However my experience with almost all ordered cocktails is dreadfully disappointing in this area. Most bartenders take the words "with a twist" at face value, and some variety of a curlicue of lemon appears, extracted by an assortment of designer bar implements and it sits decoratively on the edge of your drink. Useless as teats on a bull.
The whole point of a twist of lemon is to add a touch of fresh lemon oil to your drink, for reasons of taste. Not solely to stick a piece of lemon rind in your drink! But almost everyone misses the point. They make a living doing this, and they still don't have their eye on the donut, the key deliverable, the "beef" and not the bun.
Missing—or just not understanding—the point is not a new issue. It can be a problem for aspiring writers too, who may dutifully following the letter Vs the spirit of instructions. Doing something without really understanding why it needs to be done, what value it offers, can lead you astray. It's often why editorial instructions, tip sheets, etc. can sometimes be non-existent, minimalist or vague—because the requesters know that some information can mislead instead of inform.
In fact, information can distract you from focusing on the point. As an adviser, you really want the creator to understand that it's all about achieving the goal: creating the feeling, having the impact, making the experience happen for the recipient. Not (necessarily) about taking each step correctly, following rules, or delivering on the surface requirements, but not the substance. Instructions or information can be helpful, but when it comes down to it, the question will always be: is it delicious? Do I want to keep drinking (or reading, or whatever).
So if you're having trouble making your text behave, now at least now you'll know what to add to that beverage you're going to be fixing yourself!
Do it with a twist.
My father enjoyed a martini and took pleasure in the details. The right glass, the balance of tastes, the brand, crushing the ice in his hand with a spoon to get the right size slivers, the perfect chill, the right additions. Everything had impact. Everything mattered. And when I would taste the drink, I had to acknowledge that indeed, it did.
As I recall, we were a lemon twist family. I don't think I learned of olives or onions until some much later date, though limes and even an occasional mint sprig would find its way into a seasonal libation.
But the lemon twist was what made the average drink exceptional.
It started with finding a firm, fresh lemon, with unblemished substantial skin. Not for us those thin-skinned lime-look-alikes. A small, sharp knife was needed and a lengthwise strip would be cut from stem to stern. A bit of white was acceptable, but you were looking to get a nice 1/4 inch (finger wide) ribbon of the yellow top coat, covered with tiny pores.
You'd take that ribbon and squeeze it over the surface of your completed cocktail, white inside toward you, the outer skin facing the drink like—my father would gleefully explain—you were squeezing blackheads. And oil did indeed emerge from the peel squeezing, creating a film of lemon essence, an oil slick on the surface of the drink.
You would then gently sweep the perimeter of the glass with the outside of the peel and drop it into the drink (twisting the peel would deliver similar oil-inducing pressure, but is less thorough, in my opinion). As my father noted, one didn't really taste much after the first sip of a drink. The chill, the alcohol, would often take over, so the fact the oil essence didn't last much beyond that initial sip didn't matter. What mattered was that first sip was exquisite, sparkling, aromatic, heady.
However my experience with almost all ordered cocktails is dreadfully disappointing in this area. Most bartenders take the words "with a twist" at face value, and some variety of a curlicue of lemon appears, extracted by an assortment of designer bar implements and it sits decoratively on the edge of your drink. Useless as teats on a bull.
The whole point of a twist of lemon is to add a touch of fresh lemon oil to your drink, for reasons of taste. Not solely to stick a piece of lemon rind in your drink! But almost everyone misses the point. They make a living doing this, and they still don't have their eye on the donut, the key deliverable, the "beef" and not the bun.
Missing—or just not understanding—the point is not a new issue. It can be a problem for aspiring writers too, who may dutifully following the letter Vs the spirit of instructions. Doing something without really understanding why it needs to be done, what value it offers, can lead you astray. It's often why editorial instructions, tip sheets, etc. can sometimes be non-existent, minimalist or vague—because the requesters know that some information can mislead instead of inform.
In fact, information can distract you from focusing on the point. As an adviser, you really want the creator to understand that it's all about achieving the goal: creating the feeling, having the impact, making the experience happen for the recipient. Not (necessarily) about taking each step correctly, following rules, or delivering on the surface requirements, but not the substance. Instructions or information can be helpful, but when it comes down to it, the question will always be: is it delicious? Do I want to keep drinking (or reading, or whatever).
So if you're having trouble making your text behave, now at least now you'll know what to add to that beverage you're going to be fixing yourself!
Do it with a twist.
Friday, December 24, 2010
The lessons of Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer
Some years ago I did a post on Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer. It's a song that always troubled me, as it seemed so out of keeping with the general aspiration holiday cheer.
Rudolf, the Red-nosed Reindeer is such a straightforward statement that if you are or look different, others will ridicule, shun, humiliate and reject you. As you may recall, the other reindeers "laugh and call him names/They never let poor Rudolph/join in any reindeer games."
That is his life until everyone suddenly discovers that the very thing that made him different will in fact deliver a unique and crucial skill that will overcome what had been an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, "Then all the reindeer loved him/as they shouted out with glee,/Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,/you'll go down in history!"
Clearly, for some people, anyone that is different is seen as a threat.
Perhaps some people assume if something is different it must be an enemy (?)
Perhaps some people think that, since they are perfect, anyone that doesn't resemble them is less than perfect, and must be elimnated (?)
Perhaps some people think they are perfect, thus everyone else must also think they are perfect, so their differences are in conflict, and are an alarming threat to some people's own belief system, sense of self-satisfaction and comfort (?)
But some people appreciate differences in others.
Perhaps they respond to the fact that evolutionary theory rewards those species that have variety, as it gives them more options for species survival to respond more effectively to a changing world. If a species becomes too uniform, then one problem can wipe out the entire species, because all are equally vulnerable (?)
Perhaps they realize that variety enhances survival because not everyone wants the same thing at the same time, diminishing competition and allowing peacefull coexistance (?)
Perhaps they have internalized the Rudolf lesson, that the very things that make someone different will offer key skills to the team, and make the sum far greater than each individual part—a central theme in romances (?)
And clearly, the trial by fire that so many live through in environments that penalize differences can forge powerful, creative and remarkable human beings.
But it is hard on the young. For the lessons we learn in Kindergarten are not pretty and many live their whole lives trying to overcome or find forgiveness for what happened then.
In an effort to prevent teen suicides among kids with gender and sexuality issues there are resources. It gets better.org or The Trevor Project are two.
The focus there is gender, but the basic issue is the same. Being different may not be an easy road, but it gets better—even for Rudolf. And adults have only to pause for an instant to think of all the people who were "different" that have transformed their lives and the world around them and value and support the gift of being different.
Here's hoping that the coming season gives us all things to be thankful for—the gift of accepting—indeed of celebrating our differences. For therein lies our strength.
Isabel Swift
Rudolf, the Red-nosed Reindeer is such a straightforward statement that if you are or look different, others will ridicule, shun, humiliate and reject you. As you may recall, the other reindeers "laugh and call him names/They never let poor Rudolph/join in any reindeer games."
That is his life until everyone suddenly discovers that the very thing that made him different will in fact deliver a unique and crucial skill that will overcome what had been an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, "Then all the reindeer loved him/as they shouted out with glee,/Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,/you'll go down in history!"
Clearly, for some people, anyone that is different is seen as a threat.
Perhaps some people assume if something is different it must be an enemy (?)
Perhaps some people think that, since they are perfect, anyone that doesn't resemble them is less than perfect, and must be elimnated (?)
Perhaps some people think they are perfect, thus everyone else must also think they are perfect, so their differences are in conflict, and are an alarming threat to some people's own belief system, sense of self-satisfaction and comfort (?)
But some people appreciate differences in others.
Perhaps they respond to the fact that evolutionary theory rewards those species that have variety, as it gives them more options for species survival to respond more effectively to a changing world. If a species becomes too uniform, then one problem can wipe out the entire species, because all are equally vulnerable (?)
Perhaps they realize that variety enhances survival because not everyone wants the same thing at the same time, diminishing competition and allowing peacefull coexistance (?)
Perhaps they have internalized the Rudolf lesson, that the very things that make someone different will offer key skills to the team, and make the sum far greater than each individual part—a central theme in romances (?)
And clearly, the trial by fire that so many live through in environments that penalize differences can forge powerful, creative and remarkable human beings.
But it is hard on the young. For the lessons we learn in Kindergarten are not pretty and many live their whole lives trying to overcome or find forgiveness for what happened then.
In an effort to prevent teen suicides among kids with gender and sexuality issues there are resources. It gets better.org or The Trevor Project are two.
The focus there is gender, but the basic issue is the same. Being different may not be an easy road, but it gets better—even for Rudolf. And adults have only to pause for an instant to think of all the people who were "different" that have transformed their lives and the world around them and value and support the gift of being different.
Here's hoping that the coming season gives us all things to be thankful for—the gift of accepting—indeed of celebrating our differences. For therein lies our strength.
Isabel Swift
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
How thankful are you? Thoughts on talking turkey...
Thank you notes—the lack of them—was one of the key complaints about children in a recent conversation with a remarkably varied series of mothers I'd been speaking to.
Mommie Dearest aside, you don't have to be an abusive parent to expect a child (or anyone) to respond to a gift with appreciation. I wasn't allowed to go out and play if I hadn't finished my thank you notes for Christmas presents by the first week in January. While it was tedious, I really didn't see it as an inappropriate expectation of my parents. Now I send my thank you notes as Valentine cards—a little late, but decorative!
And when I got old enough to actually send presents, it became very clear how nice getting a note was—if only to reassure you that your gift was actually received! With no response, one can spend months vacillating between resentment toward the recipient, concern that the package had been lost, and angst about whether one should contact the person & ask the embarrassing question:
"Did you get the present I sent months ago?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry! I guess I should have said something..."
Yeah. That would have been nice.
Even as one mother was complaining of the effort she made to find her nephews and nieces things she thought they'd like and how ungrateful they were and unthanked she was, I was thinking of the presents I'd given her children for which I'd never gotten any thanks or acknowledgment. Funny how easy it is to notice failures in others and not in yourself, isn't it?
I asked her if she'd written thank you notes herself as a child. She'd written some, but mentioned that her godmother used to give her beautiful treasures that she still cherished, but had never thanked her for.
Suddenly, after complaining about others, she realized she'd been just as guilty. She wondered if the statute of limitations had expired, but in my opinion thanks have no expiration date. You can send a thank you years later, and it will still be fresh—and possibly even more appreciated. Go for it. And she did.
Suddenly, after complaining about others, she realized she'd been just as guilty. She wondered if the statute of limitations had expired, but in my opinion thanks have no expiration date. You can send a thank you years later, and it will still be fresh—and possibly even more appreciated. Go for it. And she did.
In these days of endless communication options, there's no excuse, but remarkably little activity. And really, not much is required: "Just got your lovely gift—thank you so much for thinking of me!" is really all that is needed. Yes, it would be nice to reference the actual object & mention why it will be enjoyed (if indeed it is). But details are not required, and neither are falsehoods.
I believe in telling the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth. So if you hate the gift for whatever reason, all you need to do is thank the giver for the kind thought. Note, postcard, email, voice mail (hey, you can even call when you know they won't be there!).
It was interesting to note that this issue of lack of acknowledgement has been the subject of articles with business interviews as well.
So just as we may wish for Christmas cheer to last beyond the holidays, it is worth asking...can you be thankful all year long?
Did you have to write thank you notes? Do you write them now? Did you raise your children to write thank you notes?
Monday, August 16, 2010
- Summer Reading
I was listening to my itunes podcast from The New Yorker...
(Side note: many free podcasts can be downloaded and enjoyed @ iTunes. I just add it to my iPod, but if you have a smartphone with MP3 player, think you can download them there. All kinds of free content--learn about music, cooking, manners, philosophy, comedy, news, whatever).
...and one of the stories was about this out-of-work kid who told everyone that he was reading great books over the summer & was delighted to find everyone was very impressed. No, he wasn't actually reading any, but I decided this was a worthy goal and I should start filling in the chinks and read stuff I had never gotten around to reading.
I thought I'd start with one classic, one recent literary type bestseller. My first toe in the water: PORTRAIT OF A LADY/Henry James & A HEARTBREAKING WORK OF STAGGERING GENIUS/Dave Eggers.
My rules are that you can have an opinion about a book you've read, but can't have an opinion about the author unless you've read at least 3 of their books. It seems fair.
So I found AHWOSG a bit tedious--perhaps colored by having seen Eggers on panels at conferences. And Henry James, who I had never read (yes, watched Wings of the Dove, though my enjoyment was colored by the uncanny resemblance of Daniel Day Lewis in that role to my older brother). Portrait seemed a good start--one of his more well known novels, and the heroine's name was Isabel. Can't get more relevant than that!
OMG. It was a fairly hard slog. Then I realized I couldn't complain about Henry James because I hadn't read my requisite 3 books. Back to the Library. Wings of the Dove was just too long, and I wasn't sure I wanted to sit through that story again. So I went with Washington Square--short, but as the introduction notes, not one of his more popular stories. And for good reason. I was one book away from an opinion. Luckily, there was Turn of the Screw--famous (I'd even seen the opera) and a novella! They even had to toss in a couple of short stories to fill the book out.
I was off an running. Well, if you've ever read James (I can now say that) "running" is not a word one would associate with his prose!
Despite some very active ghosts, TOTS (cute, eh?) was fairly tough going. But I needed to be able to have an author opinion! I even read the short stories. Also a good bit of the various scholarly preambles. Holy Toledo, if they don't turn you off reading the book, nothing will. In fairness, I actually really like getting a sense of context, a quick cliff notes on the writer, the history, the critical thought. But obviously, there's a similarity between the writer's style and his or her academic fans, so prefaces were a bit of a slog too.
OK, here's my assessment. After really not getting it for 3 novels (what is the big deal with this guy, etc.), the penny finally dropped thanks to the very last short story I read, "The Jolly Corner." Whew! I could have an opinion that wasn't just HUH?
So what's the big deal? I haven't done research beyond the above fairly pathetic efforts, but here are my insights.
First, he seems to be one of the first writers to deeply explore a sense of the character's conscious, their emotional makeup and the psychological causes behind their actions. Freud was born 13 year after James & lived over 20 years longer, but there's a strong connection with the birth of psychology. That seems pretty big as a new writing vision.
He also straddled the 19th and 20th centuries and offers a well rendered vision of the sense of past graciousness, limitations and social norms and proprieties that were being broken down, but still were powerful forces in an aristocratic or wealthy life. "The Jolly Corner" really presents a vivid metaphor of a man caught between two worlds, trying to find himself. Finishing it, I actually felt warmly towards James, though he definitely read as being a bit mysongenistic, which can be irritating.
So now that I've explained James, what's on your summer reading list?
(Side note: many free podcasts can be downloaded and enjoyed @ iTunes. I just add it to my iPod, but if you have a smartphone with MP3 player, think you can download them there. All kinds of free content--learn about music, cooking, manners, philosophy, comedy, news, whatever).
...and one of the stories was about this out-of-work kid who told everyone that he was reading great books over the summer & was delighted to find everyone was very impressed. No, he wasn't actually reading any, but I decided this was a worthy goal and I should start filling in the chinks and read stuff I had never gotten around to reading.
I thought I'd start with one classic, one recent literary type bestseller. My first toe in the water: PORTRAIT OF A LADY/Henry James & A HEARTBREAKING WORK OF STAGGERING GENIUS/Dave Eggers.
My rules are that you can have an opinion about a book you've read, but can't have an opinion about the author unless you've read at least 3 of their books. It seems fair.
So I found AHWOSG a bit tedious--perhaps colored by having seen Eggers on panels at conferences. And Henry James, who I had never read (yes, watched Wings of the Dove, though my enjoyment was colored by the uncanny resemblance of Daniel Day Lewis in that role to my older brother). Portrait seemed a good start--one of his more well known novels, and the heroine's name was Isabel. Can't get more relevant than that!
OMG. It was a fairly hard slog. Then I realized I couldn't complain about Henry James because I hadn't read my requisite 3 books. Back to the Library. Wings of the Dove was just too long, and I wasn't sure I wanted to sit through that story again. So I went with Washington Square--short, but as the introduction notes, not one of his more popular stories. And for good reason. I was one book away from an opinion. Luckily, there was Turn of the Screw--famous (I'd even seen the opera) and a novella! They even had to toss in a couple of short stories to fill the book out.
I was off an running. Well, if you've ever read James (I can now say that) "running" is not a word one would associate with his prose!
Despite some very active ghosts, TOTS (cute, eh?) was fairly tough going. But I needed to be able to have an author opinion! I even read the short stories. Also a good bit of the various scholarly preambles. Holy Toledo, if they don't turn you off reading the book, nothing will. In fairness, I actually really like getting a sense of context, a quick cliff notes on the writer, the history, the critical thought. But obviously, there's a similarity between the writer's style and his or her academic fans, so prefaces were a bit of a slog too.
OK, here's my assessment. After really not getting it for 3 novels (what is the big deal with this guy, etc.), the penny finally dropped thanks to the very last short story I read, "The Jolly Corner." Whew! I could have an opinion that wasn't just HUH?
So what's the big deal? I haven't done research beyond the above fairly pathetic efforts, but here are my insights.
First, he seems to be one of the first writers to deeply explore a sense of the character's conscious, their emotional makeup and the psychological causes behind their actions. Freud was born 13 year after James & lived over 20 years longer, but there's a strong connection with the birth of psychology. That seems pretty big as a new writing vision.
He also straddled the 19th and 20th centuries and offers a well rendered vision of the sense of past graciousness, limitations and social norms and proprieties that were being broken down, but still were powerful forces in an aristocratic or wealthy life. "The Jolly Corner" really presents a vivid metaphor of a man caught between two worlds, trying to find himself. Finishing it, I actually felt warmly towards James, though he definitely read as being a bit mysongenistic, which can be irritating.
So now that I've explained James, what's on your summer reading list?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
- The Hyperbolic Coral Reef
You may, perhaps, be wondering just what the Hyperbolic Coral Reef is?
So glad you asked!
It's a project started in Australia by two crocheting sisters seeking to call attention to the destruction of the Great Barrier Reef.
Interestingly, there's a mathematical angle to all this. I will likely not get this entirely right, but basically for some time mathematicians denied there was a hyperbolic function until Mr Vincenzo Riccati and Johann Heinrich Lambert came up with it in 1760. This despite the fact that many coral grow hyperbolically, so there were examples right under their nose (or toes).
And you can crochet a hyperbolic function by simply creating a chain and doubling it for every stitch--example below:
It was a powerful visual and experience to remind me you can start with something very simple--a single chain stitch. Then do something very simple--double it. And if you continue to add these simple building blocks, you can create something of amazing complexity--perhaps even beauty. Just think about the single cell dividing and dividing and what remarkable organism it can come up with!
The Smithsonian Community Reef is a satellite of the worldwide Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef Project created by Margaret and Christine Wertheim of the Institute For Figuring in Los Angeles. It was made possible through the support of the Quiksilver Foundation, the Embassy of Australia, and the Coral Reef Alliance. Find out more about Margaret and Christine Wertheim and the Institute For Figuring in Los Angeles here, and their Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef Project here. Find out more about the upcoming exhibition of the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef and Smithsonian Community Reef at the National Museum of Natural History on the Museum's Smithsonian Community Reef Temporary Exhibitions Page. To be included on this e-mail circulation list (or removed from it) please contact sicommunityreef@yahoo.com.
And for those of you may be wondering how this relates to hyperbole? I figure it's whatever it is, just double it!
So glad you asked!
It's a project started in Australia by two crocheting sisters seeking to call attention to the destruction of the Great Barrier Reef.
Interestingly, there's a mathematical angle to all this. I will likely not get this entirely right, but basically for some time mathematicians denied there was a hyperbolic function until Mr Vincenzo Riccati and Johann Heinrich Lambert came up with it in 1760. This despite the fact that many coral grow hyperbolically, so there were examples right under their nose (or toes).
And you can crochet a hyperbolic function by simply creating a chain and doubling it for every stitch--example below:
It starts to look like brain coral, doesn't it? And the pattern can be modified to create other coral (and mathematical) functions.
It was a powerful visual and experience to remind me you can start with something very simple--a single chain stitch. Then do something very simple--double it. And if you continue to add these simple building blocks, you can create something of amazing complexity--perhaps even beauty. Just think about the single cell dividing and dividing and what remarkable organism it can come up with!
I remember reading that Balzac (king of the door stopper novels) would start each one with a single page. Then he'd keep adding bits and expanding bits, and thousands of pages later, you'd get Lost Illusions.
So the longest journey does indeed begin with the first step. And whatever complex project you may have in mind that feels overwhelming, just make a single slip knot. Add another. You'll be surprised how it can grow!
For those who want to learn more, I've grabbed a relevant paragraph from The Smithsonian Community Reef project:
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE HYPERBOLIC CROCHET CORAL REEF PROJECT AND THE SMITHSONIAN COMMUNITY REEF:
The Smithsonian Community Reef is a satellite of the worldwide Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef Project created by Margaret and Christine Wertheim of the Institute For Figuring in Los Angeles. It was made possible through the support of the Quiksilver Foundation, the Embassy of Australia, and the Coral Reef Alliance. Find out more about Margaret and Christine Wertheim and the Institute For Figuring in Los Angeles here, and their Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef Project here. Find out more about the upcoming exhibition of the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef and Smithsonian Community Reef at the National Museum of Natural History on the Museum's Smithsonian Community Reef Temporary Exhibitions Page. To be included on this e-mail circulation list (or removed from it) please contact sicommunityreef@yahoo.com.
And for those of you may be wondering how this relates to hyperbole? I figure it's whatever it is, just double it!
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